I guess I'm no exception to the rules when it comes to working in today's world. Unless you are the Boss or Manager of your company, your job is probably unnecessarily stressful if it doesn't just out right suck.
As a housekeeper on a military base, I get so depressed some times. Those kids have it so good! Steady, predictable pay check, health care, and money left over for whatever they want. They can spend money for a good time.
Me? Well, I clean hotel rooms and I save one penny at a time. I have a student loan debt that will take me years to pay off and I still don't even have a degree to show for it. I live with my dad. I feel like such a failure at times. I shut myself off from the world because, everyone I have ever known has hurt me. I've never actually had a true friend. I've never had someone to just hang out with or do things with.
I used to spend a lot of time thinking about killing myself. It would have been easier to just let go, but there was always something in the back of my head that told me if I could just hang on, things would get better. Things haven't really gotten better.
But when I wake in the morning, I feel like I can disconnect myself from my life. I feel like I can be that successful person.
That's why I run. I run until it hurts. I run until I'm numb. I run until I feel strong enough to tackle my day.
Then I have to continue to work out. Punching, kicking, jumping my way to happiness. And stretching, until I feel all the darkness in my soul just leave me. Until I'm weightless....that's it.....until I'm weightless.
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