Sunday, September 23, 2012

Running on Empty (Trigger 2)

I was a long distance runner. I loved running; but the more I advanced, the more I realized that there was always someone who was better than me. I was never the best at anything and it really pissed me off. I started looking at the girls that my coach paid more attention to. These girls were taller, skinnier, and more flexible. They ran like Gazelles and they could just keep going. So I told myself, "I need to be like them." Although I could do nothing about my height, I could do something about my weight and my flexibility. I became obsessed. I still am. I will always be. This won't ever go away, but I've come to accept that.  I no longer compare myself to other runners. I am much too old for that, but I am always battling against myself. I am always fighting to get myself to be perfect so I can feel just once, what it feels like to be loved by people for your amazing accomplishments.

<3 Running on Empty <3

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